Monday, December 5, 2016

There Are No Sides

“OK, what do you want to tweet next?” the hair asked the hat, his nimble tendrils poised over the keys of Donald’s cellphone.

“Well, let’s see… We’ve made run of Jill Stein’s recount effort and Hillary’s support of it, so we’ve made the point that there was no voter fraud…” the hat said. A pair of reading glasses were perched on his bill and he was looking over a series of notes the hair had taken earlier. “OK, I got it. Tweet this: ‘In addition to winning the Electoral College in a landslide, I won the popular vote if you deduct the millions of people who voted illegally.’”

“That makes no sense,” the hair said.

“That’s why it’s funny!”

The hair grumbled but tapped away at the phone.

“Have you sent it yet?” the hat asked.

“Hold on, hold on.” There was a whooshing sound from the phone of a tweet being sent.

“Let’s see Kellyanne talk her way out of that one,” the hat chortled.

“You know she’s on our side, right?”

“Fuck her. Her face looks like deep-fried buttskin.”

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