Warty's Battle Cry

It's Not Me, It's You

Al paced back and forth in the hallway outside of Kathleen's office. The thought of her her ashen, slack skin made his impatient erection throb like a sore tooth. Meetings. Meetings all day. It was some cruel game she was playing, he thought. The office door opened.

"Kathleen," he said, half-sobbing and lunging at the door. It was just her aide.

"Janice," Al said, grabbing the frightened girl by her shoulders. "When, Janice?" he begged.

"Al, you need to calm down. She's in with The President of the United States Barack Obama and the Meeting is Very Important. They are talking about the implementation of The Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act."

"Fuck that noise, Janice. I need my Kathleen. My loins burn for her!"

"Ew."

"Don't 'ew' our love, Janice. You're just an aide. You don't know about love yet. Have you even had your first abortion, you silly twat?"

"You know I'm working on it, Al," Janice hissed.

"Get Kathleen out here right now or I'm going to make you watch me fuck and eat your abortion, Janice. I'll fucking split in half on my cock and tongue out the insides, Janice. You fucking know I will."

"Fuck you, Al. All you make are empty promises."

She watched as a tranq dart caught him in the neck and he dropped to the ground.

Dinosaur Porn

"I don't care what our parents think, Azog. Run away with me." Grrgr's talons clicked loudly as he paced across the drawing room floor.

 "But what about the hunting lands your grandfather left you in the will, my love? You will be penniless," Azog said.

 "I don't care about hunting lands or my father's money. I just want to be with you. I want to keep our egg clutch safe with my defensive displays. It's only your name I want to squawk at a deafening volume every new morn." Grrgr rushed to Azog and buried his tears in the warm, tender meat of her bosom.

"Yes, Grrgr! Yes, my love! Fly me away from the small-minded people that cannot accept our love."

Grrgr tore himself away from her and walked to the roaring fireplace. "Azog. My love. My only love. I have keep a secret from you. It is so terrible I thought if it was revealed our relationship could never survive it."

Azog ran to Grrgr, her long gown sweeping the floor. She threw her arms around him, his splendid plumage tickling her desire.

"Nothing could make me leave you, Grrgr," she wailed. "Not now. Not ever!"

Grrgr pecked absently at her forearm, drawing blood. Azog was so in love she couldn't even feel it. 

"Azog. I am flightless. These feathers are only for courting display," Grrgr said, hanging his head.

 Azog's gasp of dismay broke his rapidly beating heart.