I'm Just Asking Questions

What is proper tea-bag etiquette? Should the penis rest on the chin? Or along the nose? The chin option seems to plant the bagee's nose directly in the anus of the bagger--a feature or a bug depending on personal perference for both parties--or, at the very least, the toilet-paper-shreds strewn rear taintal region. But the eyeward orientation seems like it would result in the penis slapping against an eye. (Although the nose could be very effective in stimulating the bulbospongiosus muscle.) I also guess you could go in at an angle or even perpendicular to the nose ridge, if agile and limber enough. But the general shape of the scrotum, even sagging under steamy conditions, suggests that it would fit in the mouth of the bagee best aligned along the chin/nose ridge meridian.

Phtirius pubis

Harry scratched his balls through the binding crotch of his suit pants. They had been itching for days; he even tried showering for the first time in weeks to make it stop. Harry pulled his underwear away in order to reposition, but only ripped out four ball hairs bunched in the elastic instead. His phone rang. Nancy. Again.

"Stupid bitch," he muttered. His secretary looked around the corner of his open office door. "Not you," he said, "the other stupid bitch." With a frightened squeak she disappeared. Rahm had broken her in at Sarah Lawrence but she was slipping. Time for a new one that would be still be impressed with working for Harry, show him the proper deference. This one had already been knocked up four or five times. Chuck’s supply of under-the-table levonorgestrel wouldn’t hold out forever.

A phone rang again. His personal cell this time. Nancy again, her pinched asshole mouth and startled eyes on his caller ID. She had been naked when he took the image, twisting his thumb in her rectum. She was begging him to take another Viagra. Begging him to again writhe and wretch over her wrinkled skin and grotesque genitals. He had cropped the picture down to just her face to help him feel nauseous when he wanted a drink.

Harry scratched his balls with the phone until it stopped ringing.