I'm just a faded Southern belle without a dime...

"Ah want to drone you, fat boy," Lindsay drawled. He gently plucked the encrusted hairs ringing Chris' butthole until it blossomed like a flower.

"There it is," he whispered, forgetting his carefully cultivated accent. "You don't know how long I've wanted this, ever since I saw you hugging that skinny niggrah on TV."

"Abuse my freedom," Chris grunted. Peaches and crust dripped from his face.

"Get yore face down in that pie, piggy," Lindsay told him. "You don't come up for air, only for my cock."

Lindsay twirled his flaccid penis around, hoping it would awaken. He switched hands and took hold of Chris' bloated scrotum with his left. He ground the testicles together until Chris let out a burbling screech into the peach pie.

"Get hard, damn you," he said to his penis.

"I want you in me," Chris whined. He snuffled in crust and choked on it, coughing and shaking his ponderous body.

"Shut the fuck up. I got a Hellfire for you. I am gonna fuck you like a Muslim wedding, you fat fuck!" Lindsay screamed. He tried to stuff his tiny, limp member into Chris' gaping asshole.

"You like that, fat boy? You like that?" he screamed.

"Is it in yet?" Chris asked, finally daring to look back.

Lindsay screamed again, high-pitched and full of feminine rage. He pushed Chris over and angrily started trying to feed the remnants of the pie to Chris' pleading anus.

Behind The Warty Door

With the last grating pass of the razor, Lindsay looked up at Warty expectantly. Warty tossed the razor away and turned under the harsh glare of the klieg lights. The corn oil dripped from his elbows and penis onto the layer of shower curtains the servants had put down.

"Ah gawd," came Lindsay's effete Southern drawl, "You look good enough to eat for Sunday dinnah." Warty playful flicked oil at him as Lindsay squatted in the gloom outside the powerful lights. The oil was heating up under the them and the room filled with the scent of tacos and immigration.

Lindsay finished rubberbanding his penis and testicles into a genital bouquet and slowly inserted one then two then three tiny liquor bottles into his anus. They clacked together when he stood. He carefully shimmied toward Warty while flashing his shittiest of shit-eating grins.

Lindsay said, looking deep into Warty's waiting eyes, "Ah wish you were a nigrah."

Warty fainted dead away.