The Enemy of My Enemy Is Their Friend

The Typical Libertarian Template

For Radley

UN ZE POPULAR GIRLZ!

Nancy shrugged out of her blouse and unfastened the high-tension wires supporting her bra. Her breasts fell out, bouncing against her stomach with two soft plops. She gathered them up, withered and wrinkled like day-old crepes, and pinched the nipples viciously to stimulate blood flow. They were cold in her menopausal hands as she offered them to Dianne.

"Do youh want thu protesh?" Nancy slurred provocatively. Her mouth, as always, was filled with saliva. "No," Dianne said, "I want to fuck on the Astro-Turf."

Nancy stepped out of her support underwear. From the bed, Dianne could see that Nancy had shaved her enormous thatch of gray pubic hair into a swastika. Dianne let out a moan of pleasure as she shat out the riding crop she had been masturbating with.

From the closet, frustrated by the obstructed view, Rachel ground the lock of Keith's hair into her vulva so hard that the cords in her gigantic neck stood out like bridge cables.

On The Run, Hunted, Weary

Xeones’ shadow loomed on the sides of the rain-slicked alley as Warty dodged between abandoned shopping carts and split-open garbage bags. Sweat trickled down between Warty’s shoulder blades despite the cool night air. His breathing was ragged. He coughed and Xeones’ shadow shifted.

“W-W-W-Warty,” Xeones voice echoed in the night-empty city streets, “I’m coming for youuuuuuu.” The Ripper gleamed in his hand. He licked the teeth of the blade, cutting a shallow groove into his tongue. He let the blood fill his mouth as he chased the fleeing figure.

Warty ducked behind a dumpster to catch his breath. The frightened rabbit of his heart beat madly in his chest. The alley smelled of vomit and gardenias; he clapped a hand over his mouth to keep from retching. As he rocked back and forth, gagging and beginning to cry, a tremendous fart crept out--slow at first, then gathering speed and volume and wetness.

What felt like thick rain sprayed down on Warty. Xeones had crept onto the dumpster under cover of fart and had spit the blood out so he could snarl. “The eagle,” Xeones rasped, “I shall have your lungs out and fuck your heart to mush.”

Posters

The Invisible Pimp Hand

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